Sex is an expression of intimacy, but it takes much more than sex to create intimacy – and in turn, a healthy relationship. Here are 4 simple tips to get you started.

People often use the words “sex” and “intimacy” interchangeably, just as they would “sex” and “intercourse.” Don’t believe us? Just Google “intimacy and marriage.” You’ll find nearly every article and blog you come across is about sex. But any married couple will tell you that this is not the case.

Intimacy is a closeness, a combination of shared values, memories, and experiences that end in you knowing someone as well as you know yourself. Sex might be an expression of intimacy, but it takes much more than sex to create intimacy. Here are four things you can do to strengthen the intimacy between yourself and your partner.

Stay in touch

Few things make a couple intimate like touch. After all, handshakes aside, how many times do you touch someone you don’t know well? Don’t underestimate the power of holding hands, snuggling together on the couch, or putting a familiar hand on your partner’s back as you pass by. Touching keeps you connected; connection keeps you intimate.

Kiss like you mean it.

When you first started dating, you and your partner couldn’t keep your lips off each other. As kissing someone new loses its novelty, your kisses become shorter and can eventually be reduced to little pecks. Look into your partner’s eyes and keep those lips locked for at least seven seconds to reignite that old spark. You can even buy a flavored lip balm that adds some zing to your kisses.

Give some warm fuzzies.

Spend some time making your significant other feel special. Everyone loves compliments, and they don’t cost you a thing, so give them with gusto. Tell your partner how they make you proud. Give a personal gift, something only you would know your partner wants. These little acts of kindness will bring the two of you closer.

try new things

The worst thing that can happen to a relationship is it becomes stale and either (or both) party feels trapped by routine. You’ve got to take some chances and a few steps outside of your comfort zone, together. Sign up for a class or take on a new physical activity you can do together, like tennis or golf. These shared experiences will bond you (and trying something new in the bedroom isn’t a bad idea either!).

Find new ways – or bring back old ones – to get close to your partner. Your desire for sex might come and go, but intimacy lasts a lifetime.